Anyone that is a friend of Chris Burke must never have seen this window into his tiny shrivelled soul.

Lately I’ve been seriously addicted to Chopped, the cooking show on Food Network.  They always purposely have a dick hole competitor and it’s funny how they always put them on the far left stove.

Cocky bastards like Chris Burke are such bad sportsmen to bring attention away from their own mediocre performance.  They are so insecure about their performance that they feel they have to gain an extra edge by distracting and putting down their competitors to their face during competition in order to throw them off.

The quick story behind this guy with the poop tickler grin is that he’s been on Chopped before (and got chopped).  All of the contestants on the show were past contestants on for a new chance at the $10,000.  Having lost it once makes the contestants want it even more apparently.

In Chris Burke’s first appearance on the show, he accused a competitor of stealing his mushrooms, when it turned out he spaced it and left them in the pantry.  He didn’t apologize until prompted by the judges.

In this episode, he was especially mean to Katie Rosenhouse, who admirably took his abuse with a remarkably cool head.  He saw her as a threat for the last round, dessert, which makes sense since she is a pastry chef by trade.

As most contestants that were obviously chosen by a group interested in boosting ratings/drama and put on the far left stove, Chris was very verbal and distracting.  He appeared as though he were the star of a cooking show, explaining in detail what he was doing at all times.  The judges had more bad than good to say about his food, but his narcissism only allowed the good remarks to make it into his consciousness.  He’d fit right in here in Utah Valley.  Actually, this might be the very first time I’d have to say this place would be the worse with him.  That’s saying a lot for a blog called provosucks.com.

This is the first time I’ve seen a contestant actually try to take over as announcer when the ingredients were being announced for the final round.  Ted Allen had to quiet him down.

$10,000 is a lot, and apparently Chris Burke thought it was worth making himself look like a clown to make a win more likely.  Fortunately he succeeded admirably in the clown department, but did not win the competition.  Perhaps the most satisfying hour of television I’ve seen in months.